Flight of the Pootisbirds
by Yuu Narukami
Summary: When Blue Soldier Maggot is given a mysterious canister of fart by a scientist, he uncovers an age old secret Blue Team was never able to reveal that could destroy the world.


Flight of the Pootisbirds

Chapter 1 – Pooty Part 1

Dark, stormy night. Maggots surrounded me. I called those people my teammates. My best friend was Blue Engineer Sir Reginald Pantaloons the 3rd. We heard a deep poot out in the distance. "Poot, poot, poot!" it rang throughout the air as Heavy just finished one of his sandviches.

"TASTY!" he so loudly yelled into the air, clearly enjoying his treat.

Meet my team, because I think it's important you should know who these men are, dang it!

First, there's me, Blue Soldier, Maggot Fodder. They thought I was near-sighted because I missed every target at training, so they put me in back-up.

Next, you have Blue Engineer, Sir Reginald Pantaloons the 3rd. Same case as me, except when he built a sentry gun, it flung crap at everybody. The brown kind. He was sent to back-up with me.

Then we have Blue Heavy, one of my comrades and probably the only good shooter on our team. Well, best shooter would be over exaggerating, because unless you consider blind fire with a giant minigun, you're welcome to believe he's the best.

Member Number 4, Blue Medic. We call him Doc. Back-up. He failed his initiation by giving his target a fatal disease, but somehow our bosses found something in him.

Then lastly, we have Blue Pyro. He is nothing but bad news, and we're told to keep him in our sight at all times.

So, now that you have met my team, I suppose I should get on, shouldn't I?

Well, the whole story started on an average day like any other…

Chapter 1 – Pooty Part 2

Somewhere In a Base Overrun By Blue Dudes

We were preparing for a mission that was just like all of the others. Except, there was something different to it. We just did not realize it. It's not like these missions mattered anyways, none of us had any family to go to, and we were back-up. The big people in the higher ranks could take care of it themselves.

As I walked the halls of my base, one of the scientists handed me a canister with a brown cloud of gas flowing through it. "What is this?" I wondered.

"HIS name is Pooty, and he'll be your new guide for this mission. I can only count on you to be his keepers." His confidence in me felt like mockery.

Me, someone to be trusted? I have never fought a battle yet, and I am sure Pooty would be better in the hands of a Blue Moon soldier, or a Satellite Trooper. NOT me. "I'll… see what I can do for you," I told him with half-and-half confidence.

He smiled at me, and saluted before he was off to be sent to battle, probably being shipped off to his death. I didn't need him, but the little cloud of fart inside of this canister spoke to me. "Poot-poot-poot," it cooed at me as I examined it.

I looked through the bottle and could see a figure approaching me. It was Doc, the army's back-up Medic. I put the canister in an open slot on my utility belt as Doc came closer to start up an always interesting conversation (considering it was Doc, it was always interesting.) "Ah, the brave Matador has returned to Base Alpha! What a surprise!"

Coming from Doc, it was never serious. He always made mad nicknames for the crew that drove them insane. Take mine for example, Matador, and think about it. It's crap, isn't it?

As I thought about my canister of fart and Doc being on my team at the same time, I could tell this operation was far from normal. Thoughts still swam through my head like an angry beaver shark. _Why would they give me a canister of a fart cloud? Moreover, why is Doc going on this mission with me?_ These thoughts would not get the best of me, for my mission is not to get lost in thoughts, it's to get lost in blood!

I nodded at Doc for the usual goodbye, and I was off to our transport vehicle. A giant jeep is what we will be driving in. And the worst thing is, Heavy is driving it. HEAVY! The results could be catastrophic! Heavy didn't know the first thing about off-road terrain, let alone any terrain.

But as more thoughts blasted through my mind as I walked, I smelled cigar smoke walking through the armory. An all too familiar cigar smell. "Welcome back, Maggot, or whatever you may have changed your name to."

I clenched my fist as I heard his voice. It was the Blue Spy, Murdock. I had bad experiences with him…


End file.
